THERE’S a rat among us.
Innocent motorists, just going about their business, are being watched and dobbed on by do-gooders with too much time on their hands.
Residents in Sydney’s inner-west have topped the list when it comes to people dobbing on illegal parkers and motorists who have stayed a little longer than they should have in metered spots, The Daily Telegraph reports.
The perturbed citizen parking inspectors tip off the local council by sending the complaint — which can include geo-coordinates and pictures. The council then sends out reinforcements to issue the fines. It’s all done through an app called Snap Send Solved — which is a blatant rip off of my app idea of the same name where people snap nudes and send them to you anonymously before you’re required to solve who the mystery penis belongs to before time runs out.
Anyway, this system is like a low-key version of a citizens arrest. Pretty soon, retirees will just start roaming on-street parking bays with electronic label makers they’ve bought at Officeworks and dole out fines as they see fit.
I imagine the people flagging these complaints are those annoying individuals who don’t drive at all — the kind that proudly tell everyone how much they love walking and say things like, “You just get so much extra work done during the public transport commute!”
I suspect members of the GoGet cult — with their special council-sanctioned parking spots — are also among the faceless whistleblowers.
As I write this, my car and its expired ticket is parked somewhere around the streets of Surry Hills. Try find me. I dare you.
Before this app reporting trend, annoyed citizens dealt with their dislike for someone’s parking in a much classier way. After leaving my car parked in a suburban street while I went to a movie, I returned to find someone had scrawled a giant penis across my windscreen in a red pen along with the message “f*ck you!” I had to drive around with a penis on my Honda until I reached the nearest gas station to squeegee it off. But it was better than a parking fine.
If you drive in Sydney, allowing for an avalanche of parking fines becomes part of your monthly budget. But expired meter tickets are just the surface of the problem.
Around Sydney, there are entire strips of vacant street space that would make perfect parking spots but signs prohibit it for no reason. As someone who’s frequently running late to everything, I’ve been known to park in these luxurious spaces. Loading zones too. Pro tip: Put your hazard lights.
Parking in Sydney is so bad I thought we’d all just decided as a collective to flout the signs and let the streets of our town become mob-ruled. Dobbing people in for staying a little too long in a metered parking space corrodes the community ties that once made our neighbourhoods strong and instead fosters a toxic, untrusting society.
Sydney’s a beautiful yet punishing dame of a city. Rent’s ridiculous and the night-life has been put to bed. Just let me stay five more minutes in my illegal parking space.
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